The Journey to Just Be

Everyone loves a good origin story.

Early Life

Fifteen. That’s how old I was when I decided that I wanted to be a Massage Therapist. Now, I had never received a massage at this early point in my life. I had however grown up giving shoulder and neck rubs to friends and family and working almost daily on my stone mason fathers hard working back. He was the one who suggested it as a profession.

But my decision had less to do with inherent skill, and more to do with selfish necessity. You see, I was also 15 when I officially had the label “Severe Anxiety with Panic Disorder” taped to my forehead.

While most teens daydream about what they want to be when they grow up, I daydreamed about how I wanted to feel. Calm. Blissful. At peace. A career in massage made all the sense in the world. I was good at it, it was helpful to other people and it fulfilled the image of bliss that my anxious kid brain so desperately longed for.

After high school, I moved to Portland, mostly for adventure, but also with vague plans of attending the Massage Program at Western States Chiropractic College. I toured the campus, fell in love and signed up to start classes the following spring. It was happening!

Change of Plans

In the interim, I had a very cool temporary opportunity with AmeriCorps as a Greenland Restoration Coordinator for the City of Gresham. It was a fateful day in December towards the end of my contract. I was coordinating a tree planting volunteer event in the community. I pushed a small wood marker post into the ground, felt my right wrist pop a little and a quick shot of pain, but really, no biggie. A sprain, I was sure and wrapped it, unconcerned.

Fast forward a couple months; my AmeriCorps term had ended and I was now working for a house cleaning company. That sprained wrist had never gotten better and was, in fact, getting worse and with massage school just around the corner, I figured I had better get it checked out.

Ever heard of a “TFCC Ligament?” Neither had I until the doctor told me that I had completely torn mine off the bone. Just popped it right off. Surgery. Physical Therapy. “No, Massage School is a contraindication and you’ll have to pick a different profession.” my doctor answered my questions, annoyed.

I was devastated. I also hated my surgeon passionately for destroying my dream. I canceled my enrollment at Western States, had the surgery which took FOREVER to heal and started physical therapy.

My physical therapist made up for my horrendous ass of a surgeon. She told me, in the kindest sweetest voice during my very first session, that as long as I was “a good girl” and did all of my homework exercises that she saw no reason why I could not still pursue a career in massage.

*Cue Singing Angels*

So I was the best girl you ever did see! I followed that PT’s instructions to the tee! I when I was finally cleared of that freaking brace, almost 9 months after surgery, I moved home to Grants Pass to continue healing. The following year I enrolled in the Massage Program at Rogue Community College.

Massage School

Upon finally entering massage school in September of 2010, at the ripe old age of 21, I looked forward to one day having a private practice working in the realm of infant and prenatal massage. While this was still a major focus in my educational journey, I found myself falling in love with techniques and modalities geared towards management and relief of chronic pain. A whole world opened up to the endless possibilities and benefits of bodywork.

I graduated from the Massage Therapy program at Rogue Community College with honors in June of 2011. I was so surprised to wear those gold cords on my graduation gown.

It had been a crazy process, working full-time graveyard shifts as a caregiver and attending school full time during the day, plus homework and life. I literally don’t know when I slept. But it was a means to an ends and teachers and classmates were gracious about letting me grab a nap when I could, between classes.

My Massage License from the Oregon Board of Massage Therapist was in my hot little hands by January 2012. By that time I was already working as a Chiropractors Assistant in a local Chiropractic Clinic and had a massage position lined up there for as soon as I had received my credentials.

Early Career

I worked alongside some amazing practitioners; chiropractors, sports rehab therapists and other LMT’s. I was given the opportunity to work with clients enduring chronic pain and expanded my fascination with pain relief techniques in this environment.

From there I joined what would become my second family at The Naturopathic Medical Clinic, here in Grants Pass. I loved every moment in this office. Dr. Ellen Heinitiz ND, Dr. Kristen Plunkett ND, and their Office Manager Cassie would come to be some of my dearest friends.

While I still worked with chronic pain clients, I was given the unique opportunity to act as a part of the clients overall therapeutic constellation in regards to holistic healing and wellness. I found the Naturopathic world fascinating and saw the benefits not only for my clients but for my own Anxiety Disorders as well.

As hard as it was to leave my Naturo-Family, I had always known that I wanted to eventually go out on my own. And so, in March of 2015, Just Be Bodyworks was born.

Just Be Bodyworks is born

“Just Be” was a mantra given to me by my boyfriend, who would later become my husband, for good reason. I am, by the nature of brain chemistry a type A, anxious, productivity junky. Go, go, go and glorify your busy. “Babe, just be.” Was his loving reminder to slow down, take a breath, and relax. As I learned this concept myself, I felt drawn to share it with others through the work that I was already doing as a Massage Therapist.

Just Be Bodyworks 1.0 was located in a shared bodywork space in a quirky historic brick building in downtown Grants Pass, known as the Health Oasis. I had a beautiful room, with a skylight, hardwood floors, plenty of space, gorgeous lofty ceilings and ….about a five-foot gap between the top of the wall and those soaring ceilings. The downstairs space had four rooms but the same quirky historic nature that made it so charming, also made full walls impossible. But it was mine, my very own, my precious.

Here, my practice blossomed beyond what I had ever imagined! I was booked out 2-3 months, rarely had time to take on new clients and had a consistent flow of wonderful regular clients from all walks of life. I began to build a reputation for deep tissue and deep pressure work, PNF stretching and intense therapies. My practice thrived here!

In October 2016 Just Be 1.5 moved to it’s very own beautiful perfect space in a quiet area on 5th street near the local Saturday Growers Market. Here I continued my work in chronic pain management, overall wellness and also dove deeper into the realm of using bodywork as a tool in anxiety and stress management with a large percentage of my clients. While my practice was thriving, all of that deep intense work was beginning to take a toll on my body.

I encouraged my clients to take accountability for their own healing and insisted that I was only a small factor in the process. Self-care, homework, regular stretching, and exercise were things that I preached on a daily basis. I, however, was not walking my talk.

Over time my own healthy habits took a backseat and combined with a full schedule of massage every week, I began feeling the effects. My anxiety began to return, my shoulders and back nagged at me constantly and I began to find it difficult to be fully present and compassionate with my clients.

Time for a break

By the summer of 2017, my left hand decided that I had neglected myself long enough and let me know loud and clear that I was done. One of the most difficult decisions that I made in my career was to walk away from it.

In August of 2017, I subleased my space to an LMT friend, secured a position as an Office Manager with my family’s State Licensed Cannabis farm and left Just Be Bodyworks to gather dust. I didn’t know if or when I would return, only that I needed to take a break. I left my name on the door, my equipment in the studio and my massage license active.

Wait and see.

For the first year away from my practice I felt relief, both physically and mentally. The back and shoulder issues began to resolve and my hand seemed to appreciate not being asked to work so hard. I began to get my anxiety under control again but while there was some simplicity at being an employee rather than a business owner, the job of Office Manager was not without stress.

In the highly regulated brand new industry of legal cannabis, there is a lot of excitement and novelty, but even more pressure and high stakes! Despite the hustle and bustle though, I found it stimulating and fascinating to expand my knowledge of business management and marketing. It was like being in school all over again, albeit a fast-paced, intense school with a lot at stake.

I soon found myself daydreaming about implementing some of these newfound strategies in my own calm, serene business again. After a year and a half, the stress of this new cannabis gig was beginning to take it’s toll.

Just Be Bodyworks 2.0

So here we are, March of 2019, exactly 4 years after Just Be Bodyworks 1.0 was first born. It’s been incessantly tugging at my hair for the past 6 months but I was skeptical if my hand would allow me to return in the same capacity.

There is however an age-old adage, “those who can not do, teach.” It took a while to convince myself of the validity of this statement, but it was apparent that Just Be needed me just as much as I needed to Just Be, again.

The philosophy of Just Be Bodyworks 2.0 is centered around empowering individuals to truly be accountable for their own wellness and healing. In that same sweet space near the growers market, I envisioned teaching people the benefits of self-care, meditation, stress management and of being a guidepost in the overall pursuit of bliss. The best way after all for me to learn it myself is to teach it. Walk my talk.

In the beginning, Just Be Bodyworks 2.0 will offer weekly guided meditation groups, couples massage classes, essential oil classes and finally, at long last, coming full circle back to my original intentions as a student LMT, infant massage classes. This I am especially excited about. I’ve been certified by the International Association of Infant Massage to teach parents the skills and benefits of regular massage for their little ones. I am so blessed to have the honor of passing on this knowledge so near and dear to my heart.

I will also be offering private bodywork sessions with limited availability, however, this won’t be the same massage my regular clients were used to. To ensure the effectiveness of treatment as well as the longevity of my hands, these sessions will implement some new modalities and tools such as Cupping Therapy, Gua Sha (myofascial scraping), PNF Stretching and Aromatherapy. 

In the near future, Just Be Bodyworks will continue to evolve and add Hot and Cold Stone Therapy and Rain Drop technique to it’s list of private bodywork sessions. As well as Stress Management and Mindfulness Coaching for my clients and Business Consulting for other Bodywork Professionals. Stay tuned!

It has been a long interesting journey, these past seven years as a Licensed Massage Therapist. JoAnn Lewis, my Infant Massage mentor, recently wrote to me, “Each person must take the time it needs and the journey to unfold in a supportive way as you have done for yourself.  Please be proud of yourself for that. I am.”

I must say that I am proud. But also humbled and honored to have been blessed with such an inspiring vocation in so supportive a community filled with such epic humans.

I am ready to come home.

I am ready to Just Be.